Please Kill Me At Once

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136) What is the difference that Moses spoke in the above matter as to a female, for it is written, “And if Thou deal thus with me,” using feminine gender in the Thou [in Hebrew]. He should have said “Thou” in masculine [in Hebrew]. However, he spoke to a place where there is death, and that place is of the female, the Malchut. This is why he said, “Please kill me at once,” which is the tree of death.

We already explained that there is no death in the tree of life, ZA, and he could not say to it, “Please kill me at once.” Hence, he brought Himself back from the tree of life and said to the tree of death, to Malchut, Thou [in feminine form] and not Thou [in masculine form]. And so he should have said, since Malchut is female.

137) Promptly, “And the Lord said unto Moses: ‘Gather unto Me seventy men.’” The Creator told him, “You seek death at any time,” take, “And I will take of the spirit.” Here Moses knew that he would die and not enter the land, since Eldad and Meidad prophesied it.

138) Hence when one is angry he should not curse himself, since several slanderers stand atop him taking this thing, and his curse comes true. Another time, when Moses sought to die in the incident with the calf, when he said, “blot me, I pray Thee, out of Thy book which Thou hast written,” they did not receive it from him because it was all for Israel’s benefit. But he said it only out of anger and stress, which is why they received from him. For this reason, afterwards Eldad and Meidad remained in the camp and said that Moses would be “gathered to his people” and that Joshua would lead into the land of Israel.

139) For this reason, Joshua came to Moses and envied Moses, and Moses did not watch over his honor. This is why Joshua said, “My lord Moses, restrain them.” “Restrain them” means prevent things from them so they will not come true, as it is written, “So the people were restrained from bringing,” and also, “And the rain from heaven was restrained.” “Restrain” is actual prevention, and Moses had no desire. Go and see Moses’ humbleness. It is written, “Are you jealous for my sake?” Happy is Moses, for he rose above all the high prophets. All other prophets compared to Moses are as the moon compared to the sun.

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